On Personal Trainers and 3rd Grade Diplomas

Ok, I used to be a personal trainer, in fact that was my profession for over 25 years. I’m not sure why I’m so reluctant to tell you guy’s that, in fact it’s a little embarrassing to admit. I suppose my reluctance comes from the fear that you might lump me in with all the other stereotypical trainers out there. Now I’m not going to waste your time by trying to set myself apart from the other meatheads in my industry cause I’m just as dumb as the next trainer. The stupidity began when I actually obtained a BS in Exercise Physiology. Four years of knowledge and money flushed down the drain to begin a career which really only requires a 3rd grade education. I use the word “requires” loosely because a 3rd grade education is not actually “required”. However getting that 3rd grade sheepskin not only adds to a trainer’s credibility but also adds the ability to read and write to the whole skill set. To those aspiring PT’s out there who do not possess this skill, DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE! Simply practice writing the words; set, reps and protein and you will just about have all the necessary writing skills necessary. (Sorry to throw protein in there because I know the whole i before e except after c will throw you completely off, but then again I don’t think that rule is learned until 4th grade). The reading and writing is not the important stuff anyway. The REAL challenge is knowing when and how to say the two most important words in the Personal Training language………..”Two More”. “Two More” is what a trainer says when he has no idea how many reps a client has done because you are thinking about 10 other things other than personal training. (I would have said 20 other things but with only a 3rd grade education that would be an incredible stretch). You can tell who the really good trainers are because they can effortlessly say “Three More”. When you can start throwing around the “three mores” then you know as a trainer that you have reached a level that few have obtained.
Why is “Two More” so important? Because “two more” covers the trainers butt and conveys to the client that the trainer is paying attention to every little detail of the workout. This of course is not actually true. In fact, “Two More” was invented because of a phenomenon that inflicts trainers called “trainer stare”. “Trainer Stare” is a catatonic look that washes over a trainer during a training session and can occur for several different reasons. It might come on after the trainer has seen his 10th client of the day and it’s only 7:00am and there’s 25 more clients to go. It can manifest after hearing the same client tell him week after week that she is following her diet perfectly and is still not losing weight. (Note to reader, any weight gain is always explained away as “muscle weight gain”). During “Trainer Stare” the trainer could not tell you what month it was, much less the rep number the client is on. Usually ST is the effect of a burned out, over weight trainer (again, muscle weight) who is kicking himself for not pushing the envelope and getting that 4th grade diploma.
I shouldn’t be embarrassed of a career that enabled me to touch so many lives (and bodies) and that enabled my life to be touched as well. The problem with professions is the other people in your profession. Hey, it’s not like it’s a party hangin’ with a bunch of writers either. However, there is a correlation between writers and trainers…………most of the great writers never made it past the 3rd grade either.